Taintlight – review

Taintlight – review

So, it’s only fair to admit that I have never seen Twilight, nor have I read the books. Vampires don’t generally interest me but I will hand it to the writer and the creators of the film franchise that they definitely tapped into a hungry market. So, being that I have no vested interest in the Twilight franchise you might ask yourself why it is that I would want to see an awkwardly titled, no budget parody? I mean, it’s called Taintlight, what else do you need?

Taintlight is about a disaffected and distant girl who prefers to sigh loudly and roll her eyes than to take any joy in life. After moving in with a voyeuristic father, the girl reconnects with a childhood friend who just happens to secretly be a Michael Jackson impersonating werewolf, and he promises to help her adjust to life at her new school. Almost immediately she is drawn to a dark and brooding student with outrageous hair and an attitude as awful as hers and the two of them cannot deny the passion that is bubbling between them. There’s a hitch though, in their burgeoning romance – he’s a vampire, but worse than that, when he is in direct sunlight he is stricken with an erection and his crotch erupts in soap bubbles. Yup! Little do the teen lovers know though that their romance has angered another faction of vampires who are not as refined and friendly and who want nothing more than to ruin their plans for the prom.

Wow. What can you say? What I can say is that this is a darn fun movie. It’s utterly ridiculous and I have to admit that the hardcore digs on Twilight I didn’t pick up on but this movie works on its own. It is so over the top, and so broad (and we know the IDEA of the movie it parodies pretty well by now) that the film works. And don’t dare think that this isn’t a zero budget film but man, it doesn’t need a budget because it’s all about the fun these people are having and that is enough. The sad thing to me is that the people in this are better actors, even at their broadest and most ridiculous, than some trained professionals that make their livings in film. This is homemade filmmaking, backyard filmmaking, and while the effects are ridiculous, the acting is amateur, and the storyline is a series of bad jokes but ya know what? It doesn’t matter. This is a film and a crew that knows what it is and embraces that. It’s not an easy thing to make a parody film, despite what Hollywood may believe, but this works. The actors have fun in their roles and play their characters, characters that some people know all too well, broadly enough to make their parodies something new and unique. It’s a movie that is far more fun than you would imagine and while the jokes are never terribly deep, they are still pretty funny because they are so ridiculous.

I have made it pretty clear that it’s not a perfect film, but it doesn’t presume to be perfect. What it tries to be, and does very well, is to be fun, and funny, and on that end it’s very successful. This is one of those silly movies you will see streaming on Netflix and wonder about how good (or bad) it is, well, this is both at once, it’s intentionally bad and surprisingly good and fun all the way around.

6.5 out of 10

Author: Chris Ringler

Writer, blogger, reviewer, artist, arts and cultural events coordinator, and semi-professional weirdo. Author of a heap of books from horror to fairy tale to kid's.

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