ZING!

So I am stuck working the front desk at work which means I can’t really do my own job and am thus stuck manning phones and directing traffic. Well, I figured I might be able to get some writing in for the new book and started, well, got as far as a title for the story, and left it at that.

When I came back from lunch a co-worker was laughing to herself about SOMETHING but wouldn’t say what. So I just checked the story and saw that I HAD written some of it…only it was HER who had written.

And thus…here’s is today’s Wicked Burn.

Fire Breathers

They breathe fire….Makes one wonder, if they breathe fire, how can they eat and drink? Drink especially. Because if you think about it, if you breathe in and out fire, all the liquid you are trying to drink will just evaporate. You will have to be hooked up to an IV in a hospital because you would be dehydrated all the time. What kind of a life would that leave you with? Not a very productive one, unless you have the IV hooked up at home and you had an “at home” job you could do and never leave your house. Which brings to mind another very important point. If you breathe fire, how in the world will your house survive? It would go up in flames for sure. There must be some sort of fire proof contraption you can create to “capture” your fire while at home or in other situations where breathing fire would not be beneficial to the outsiders….

Oh and just think, you could only buy fire resistant clothing. Better hope your at home job is a gainful one, the extra money you spend on the special clothes, wow! If you are a fire breather, and you are getting dressed in the morning, you better hold your breath as to not take the chance your clothes may catch on fire. Don’t look down at yourself throughout the day either for fear of flame shooting right through your pants… OUCH! Opps,. Here you are!

THIS is my response – 

So there was a hippo once, see, and it breathed fire. It ate a lot of spicy foods. And because it breathed fire it never got smooches.

And hippos LOVE smooches.

Smooches and waffles.

Well, one day a pretty lady hippo came up to the hippo and was all…wanna smooch?

The hippo was all upset and sad because he couldn’t or he’d burn her face all up.

She blinked at him all shy like and smiled…and as she smiled snow came out of her mouth.

He shook his head.

What did he just see?

She smiled wider and the snow came out in clumps.

How in the…

“So, wanna smooch?”

He smiled and as he did flames came out and he nodded his head enthusiastically.

And thus, happiness was born.

HA!

Nice trick, lady!