MOVIE REVIEW: “Bone Lake”

TL;DR: HELL NO!

Ya know, I watch a lot of movies, and in that, I watch a lot of not very good movies. 

Imagine then how much I had to dislike this movie to rush to review it. 

What’s worse, is that it’s been championed by a lot of people. 

Which, hey man, cool. 

I am glad there is an audience for the film, even if I am not part of it. 

Man alive did I not like this movie. 

At all. 

I have no interest in writing tear-down reviews. 

I am not going to act like a troll. 

I really didn’t like this film, though. 

The movie tells the story of a young couple who have rented a lavish home for a romantic getaway. While they are getting comfortable, another couple shows up, insisting that they have reservations for the same place. The couples decide to make the best of it, and both stay there, the home being large enough for everyone. As everyone gets comfortable with one another, the cracks in the first couple’s relationship begin to show, and what seems like good fun between the four, takes a dangerous turn, and loyalty may not be the only thing at stake. 

LORD, how I hated this film. 

It felt like a horny FUNNY GAMES. 

It’s a story we have seen before, with a lot of themes that have been covered. There were moments when I thought, oh, well, we’re going to get a curve ball here, but alas, no. The biggest twist is, also, one we have seen before. 

So, what you have, is a “will they be true” relationship story with some more splashes of blood, and some CineMax after dark sex that must have felt a lot naughtier when they made it, than it came across as. 

The movie starts with a silly, edgelord level open, to set the tone, but it never gets to that level again, and, like COMPANION, it just feels telegraphed and obvious. 

The acting is fine. It’s shot well. The gore we get, is decent. 

It’s just all…not engaging. 

The film teases that more is going on than it seems, that there are even darker things happening, but it’s all a tease, and in the end, it’s exactly what it says it is.

It feels like a really polished grindhouse movie with prettier people, less grime, and far less sex. 

It clearly resonated with a lot of folks. 

I was not among them. 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt26783625/

2 out of 5