Without – a poem

This is part two of the duo, the dark side of the mirror, if you will. To every light there is a shadow. Something to keep in mind.

Without

There is no sense in siphoning water from an empty well.
There is no light in an empty cave.
A desert knows no hope.
I laugh.
She’s gone and all I have is this angst and an ugly broken
red thing that used to be a heart.
I bathe in my bitterness and love it like a pig in its mud.
I think I’ll get a tattoo.
Her face maybe.
Maybe her name.
Maybe both with a curse beneath.
I laugh.
Maybe I’ll just write a song about her.
A song about how much I –
love her
need her
miss her
adore her.
A song about how ours was the lasting love.
The great love of all time.
How she’ll never be loved like I loved her.
I laugh.
Maybe I’ll just egg her car.
Sneak up on her place at midnight with a carton of eggs
and open fire on that goddamned car of hers.
I laugh, but now with bitterness.
I sit in the cool, dark night of my bedroom and wonder if
she has someone else.
It kills a part of me to think that.
That’s what hurts most.
The without.
Without her.
Without us.
Without love.
Knowing that when the armor falls,
when my bitterness burns away.
there is only…
Without.
And it’s here, and now that the idea of Forever scares me. Once it had been a dream, this Forever.
Now it’s a nightmare.
Forever…
Without.
Without.
Without…
No word has felt so lonely in my mouth.
I look within and see my tiny, angry self, hating even as I
Love.
I laugh.
Maybe I’ll just write a suicide note.

…c…