Kings and Queens

The idea of having a monarch that oversees a nation feels a little outdated, doesn’t it? Sure, in many cases these are ornamental acknowledgments of the past and while they have a ‘say’ in things, they don’t run the nation. That isn’t always true, as you will get some countries where there is a ruler who does whatever they want and that’s just the way it is. It feels strange though, to imagine we’re still in that world where that’s how things are done. I say this though, coming at it as an American and we have shown in recent years how very flawed and dangerous our system of leadership can be as well so for me to point and laugh at other nations and how they run things feels a bit absurd. 


The hope, for me at least, is that we’ll get to a place where our leaders are that, leaders, whatever their title and however they have it (legally and ethically). The fact is though that there are too many leaders who do what they want, for their reasons, because they want to. The nations are an extension of the ego of this person and, as we are seeing in Russia and elsewhere, the leaders will play out their petty grudges to whatever end comes so long as they feel strong and powerful. 

It’s disgusting that in 2022 this is reality but I won’t act surprised when some people still act as if a woman ‘asks for it’ when she is assaulted or that women and people of color shouldn’t get the same rights as White people. 

To think we can act as if nations that have dictators or monarchs are backwards is stupid because frankly, we’re all still backward on a lot of things and there’s a lot of us that are happy to remain that way. 

I can see though, the hate that monarchy brings out in people. I can appreciate that there are countries and people who have been harmed by monarchies and the idea of colonization as a means to an end. I can do no more than appreciate it because I have never had to live under that sort of rule and, admittedly, the idea of it seems like madness. That someone in a far off place can lay claim to another nation because they came with enough force to take it. It’s a grotesque part of our past that can’t be swept under the rug but needs to be reversed and released. Nations need to have a choice as to whose flag they live beneath, though that’s never the case. The strongest will always take what they want from those without the arms to match them or the will to burn things to the ground to preserve what is theirs. 

America is certainly not clean of bloodied hands with our past, and with our eyes on our own internal colonization – oh, gosh, you already lived there, that’s a shame, because we want it and it’s ours now, go somewhere else. 

In a time when some of us want to turn down the volume on history and quell the bloody reality of it, we need to know what really happened. We need to know so we can work to stop it from repeating and we need to know so we can champion the people that stood strong and fought for freedom and for humanity. 

In saying all this though, for me, there’s also something in having a modicum of decorum and class in how we carry ourselves. I don’t have to like someone but I certainly don’t want to take delight in their death. I don’t want to make my take on someone’s demise social media fodder. I realize that’s not how things work, but that’s how they should work. 

We shouldn’t use people dying as a way to make ourselves look as if we’re somehow some standard bearer for decency or that we’re better than someone else. 

I get it, people hate monarchies. 

Totally get it. 

Heck, I agree. 

I am just not going to take delight in the death of the Queen. 

You shouldn’t either, frankly. 

Yes, the United Kingdom should move to ‘release’ all of their empire from their grasp and let those who want to stay under the flag, stay there. But there’s nothing good that comes with posting about how you hated a woman you never met or how you are glad she is dead. 

I certainly never knew her, and any opinions I have can only be on her persona and her actions. To take a time of mourning for her family and for the people who did cherish her and to make it about you and about your need to make people see how woke you are is selfish. 

Sure, hate the monarchy, and if you and your loved ones were harmed or held back by them, then rage about the monarchy, that makes sense. 

Getting on a soapbox to make light of someone’s death is tacky and crass. 

But you do you. 

I get it, there are a lot of people who will scream BUT THEY ARE EVIL and will be enraged that I think that there should be decorum in the face of anger. 

Maybe I am a fool. 

What I’ll offer is that most people raging against the Queen, are spectators who just want to get some notice and hits on their social media posts. 

It’s gross. 

Those that are honestly and righteously angry, all I can say is that anger will change nothing in this case, and merely invests more of yourself into someone you didn’t respect or revere. 

When Trump dies it will make me sick to hear people talk of how great and pious of a man he was and what a great patriot he was and man of God. 

The fact is though that I can’t change that narrative by screaming my lungs out. 

All I can do is fight what he stood for and work to change the world in my own way. 

I ask you to do the same and to let a dead woman be dead and to let her family mourn her and her nation mourn her. 

I ask not because she was a Queen but because she was a human. 

I just lost my father in the past few weeks and I cannot imagine how hard it’d have been to have people taking delight in his passing. Had he been a monster, a murderer or assaulter of people, then I could nod and understand it. 

But I’d still hate it. 

There is so much nastiness and needless rage in this world, to add to it needlessly, out of a vague sense of duty because other people are doing it too (and always publicly so others can see how awesome and woke they are) is utterly tasteless. 

And you can point that finger back at me and curse me out as you curse out a dead woman you never met and that’s fine because you never met me either and won’t. 

Because I keep jerks at arms lengths. 

Hate the monarchy all you want, but try to remember that there are humans beneath those crowns, and they’re just as fallible as you are. 

…c…

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