Clever Little Bandicoot

I offer to you a response. A response to an HR form letter I received after applying for a job that didn’t want a letter of introduction but just a resume. I hate HR departments. They are the same as any gate keeping arm of something – they want the easy way, the fast way, and the clean way to say NO. I get it. I appreciate it. I don’t have to agree with it in the case of art or jobs. Too many people fall through the cracks that way. I offer you…a response.

It isn’t here or there, and I know you don’t care, but it’s your hiring methods are both arcane and outdated.

Not that matters, not that you’ll fuss, but trying to hire in feels like catching a bus.

Maybe you catch it.

Maybe you don’t.

Does it quite matter when the driver’s a dolt?

Of course it doesn’t, and who am I to say?

When you judge me but by a lame resume.

There is more to me than just the jobs I have held, something which may have been revealed, like, maybe I weld.

Alas, I don’t weld, but I write quite a bit.

Words are my forte, so on my rump I can sit.

I can spin you a tale.

I can tell you a yarn.

I may even be able to sell you an old barn.

I am sure that you think your methods are grand, oh gosh, and oh my, the best in the land.

Alas you do lose, people like, who may just have something more than you can easily see.

Maybe I have the wit, smarts, and the rhymes, to make an interview more than well worth your time.

But hey, you do you.

I am sure it works swell.

I just hope you run into a better process should your job hear a death knell.

It sucks to get a form, knowing a computer made the choice, of whether or not I was naughty…or noice.

NOICE!