Oh vampires, you are so darned popular these days it’s sickening. I realize that you guys are hip, and have that whole danger aspect that the kids love these days but darn it I really need you guys to lay low for a while. It’s just too much. Give the other monsters a chance, will ya? This goes for zombies too but we’ll deal with them another day. On the docket for the day is Bite Marks, a decent enough vamp movie with a it of a twist to it but darn it, I am just tired of vampires.
Bite Marks follows two men on a backpacking trip across country for a vacation. The young couple decide to rest their legs a bit and hitch a ride with a homophobic trucker. As the three of them travel the tension rises, though we aren’t sure if its sexual or otherwise but it breaks when they head to a salvage yard to get the truck looked at. While at the yard the trucker looks into the back of the semi to check on the load he is carrying and finds that the coffins he was responsible for are empty, and their contents are stalking the salvage yard. The three men suddenly find themselves hunted by the hungry undead and are forced to hide within the cab of the truck with no weapons and no way to call for help but as their desperation grows so does their ingenuity and if they can get past their differences and work together they may just survive the night.
Bite Marks is a quick, clever little movie that will charm a lot of people, and heck, its refreshing to see a gay skewing horror film for a change, but in the end it’s still a generally by the numbers vamp movie. There are a lot of fun ideas here, a nice cameo, and some self awareness that keep you interested but just not enough of a plot to give the film real legs. The gags get old, the campires are not that great and in the end that’s what this movie is about, it’s a vampire movie and if they aren’t engaging then the movie just doesn’t work. Again, the film is fun, it just gets a little boring.
There is a lot to enjoy here and I wouldn’t want to turn people off of something that is clever, light hearted, and is generally fun but in the end this just isn’t a very good horror film. It’s an ok movie, sure, but as horror films go it ain’t so great so check the trailers and see what you think. Me, I am ready to give vampires a wide berth for a bit.
6.5 out of 10
The Spooky World of Chris Ringler 